This is the first time I have ever posted a subject unrelated to Bigfoot research, but I have found it necessary to share and agree with some recently made comments in Melissa Hovey's blog "The Search for Bigfoot". This blog is actually more about the "researchers" and "people". It is important for all of us to consider the "what ifs". I am not going to quote Melissa's entire blog here as some of it doesn't pertain to the point I want to get across. The main objective of this post is to make researchers like you and me realize that there are folks out there who wish to hurt, destroy and even end friendships. And for what? Is it jealousy? Is it because they enjoy it? I don't know and I can't even begin to understand it. It is not in my capabilities to do so. I literally love everyone! Yes, I said it, I LOVE everyone. I can't imagine living my life with such hate and hurtful attitude.
Everyone reading this, please understand...this is NOT a personal attack on ANYONE! I simply must agree with several things in Melissa's blog. And they are things we should always keep in the back of our minds. Here we go...
Melissa Hovey wrote, " When you disagree with certain people in this field of research. Your name becomes fodder for play. They bat you around, and lob whatever they can in your direction, hoping something will stick, and ruin you and your credibility, personally and professionally. This is the truth so many do not speak of."
Unfortunately, I have to agree. I have seen this time and time again. What ever happened to just agreeing to disagree? What ever happened to good old respect for someone's ideas? Am I just some old fashioned down south country good ole boy who hasn't caught up with the times? Maybe so. I sure hope not. I hope we still have some folks out there that still believe in having respectful discussions.
Melissa wrote, "What does my personal life have to do with anything in the field of Bigfoot Research?"
Good question! I don't think everyone is perfect in their personal lives. I know I'm not, I still make mistakes. Always have, always will. I have to work for clients who likely have some very bad personal lives, does that mean I don't provide them with service? I have immediate members of my family that have done some very bad things, should I just leave them? Push them to the wayside? I've had friends throughout my life who have done terrible things? Should I have just ended our friendship? Or would I be a better friend by trying to help them? If they didn't comply with my suggestions, do I end my relationship? The real issue here is this word "PERSONAL". Let me repeat that, "PERSONAL". Yours and my personal life has nothing to do with our ability to perform Bigfoot research.
Melissa wrote, "Do you think other bigfoot researchers have the right to tell you how to live your life?"
No, I certainly don't. I never would and never will do that. I may offer suggestions or opinions. But if that person doesn't want my suggestion or opinion, I will not force it on them.
Melissa wrote, "If you have committed no illegal act, hoaxed reports or beat up witnesses - is it their right to tell you, you are a bad researcher for simply having a relationship they do not approve of? No - it is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Personal lives should not be a factor in this, ever."
Simply put, I couldn't agree more!
Melissa wrote, "Until 2-3 weeks ago, these very people who bash me now, I thought were my friends. What makes you think they wont turn on you?"
This is probably one of the most disturbing, sadest parts I read in Melissa's blog. I just don't know what to say here. That last question is very thought provoking!
Melissa wrote, "This comment being made about this other researcher bothers me, because frankly - he is being threatened to get to me. Apparently they are out of ideas, so they must make up something, and they lecture me on morality and ethics??? If you can't attack based on the issues - make it up as you go along? How unethical and unprofessional is that?"
Very unprofessional! To drag another person into the discussion in order to cause harm to them and their family is about as low as you can go. Not only are you hurting the person that is the subject of the complaint, but you are possibly ruining someone else's family life in the process. Hmmm...in my eyes that fits the definition of "slander". Slander is a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name, to utter slander against; defame, to utter or circulate slander. Here is a quote from a website called "Dancing with Lawyers". It states, "It's easy to laugh off slander at first. "No one will believe that," we think. "Only idiots would believe that," we tell ourselves. In fact, that's what we here at the web site did think, until we started reading the emails. Then we realized that a lot of slanderers keep at it, year after year; you become a hobby to them. Twenty years ago they would spread rumors that you were an embezzler; nowadays they spread rumors that you're a racist or a child molester." Guess what? People can and do get sued for this!
Melissa wrote, "Look folks - its this simple. Either we make this about the research - or this happens to someone else."
That's exactly right! We need to keep Bigfoot research about Bigfoot research. Let's keep the discussion of people's personal lives out of this. It has absolutely NO bearing on this research.
And finally, Melissa wrote, "To all my many friends in this field of research - thank you, for being my friend and giving me so much support, it has meant the world to me and I truly appreciate it. To those who I do not know, but have sent me emails and words of encouragement - thank you so much, I knew many would understand there was much more to this, and I was right. The people in this community are smart, and whether some want to realize it or not, really only care about the issue of Bigfoot, which is where the conversation should be."
Melissa, you always have been and will continue to be a good friend of mine. I am so sorry that you are experiencing this, but don't let it get you down. I know you will continue your search, you have proven your strong, committed effort in this field.
If anyone wants to read Melissa's complete blog, it can be found at: http://txsasquatch.blogspot.com/2008/02/this-is-what-happens.html